Help! Virus Attack!

Co…m…pu…t….er….. its stuck! HELP!

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So, there you are, on a bright, sunny day, and you switch on your computer, that has now become almost addictive. And what does it do? It freezes. Just like that. A slap in your face. Then, you start getting angry, and start cursing the computer. A little while later, you come back to your senses and turn it on again. Nothing. You try again, frustration mounting. The screen flickers for a moment, like the flutter of eyelids. It goes blank again. This time, you punch the CPU, but it does nothing but hurt your hand. You try again. It turns on. You start thinking that the computer has learned its lesson (Never freeze on me). It holds up long enough for you to run a virus scan. It takes 6 hours to complete (Preposterous!). It turns out that there are 1700 Trojans on it, apart from a whole host of spy-ware and ad-ware. You give the software the go-ahead to EXTERMINATE the virii (plural of virus, lol). Just when it seemed to be working, something happens and a huge pop-up fills you screen, saying “Computer going nighty-night” and suddenly crashes. You let out an almighty roar, but that too fails to solve the problem at hand. You give up, trying not to break down, and sigh – “Co…m…pu…t…er”, that comes out as if a robot who was being powered down was saying it. Then, you shout for help. No one answers.